Let us help you locate an attorney. Use the form below to find a divorce attorney in your area.
My adult child is divorcing. What can I do?
During the break-up of your child's marriage, it's not always easy to know how best to proceed. Parents hope that their children will have happy and secure marriages of their own, and when their children divorce, parents may be affected emotionally, socially, financially, and as grandparents.
Sound Advice
Leaving aside the issue of grandchildren for a moment, let's cover a few pieces of advice from people who've been there — parents of adults who have divorced:
- Support your adult child, no matter whether he or she seems to be "at fault" for the divorce, and whether he or she is the initiator of the divorce. You can offer your emotional support without taking sides or lecturing, or trying to mend a broken relationship.
- Listen — listen well, and listen often. Offer an ear to bend and a shoulder to cry on. Your child may or may not seek professional counseling, but you can always help by just letting your child vent his or her feelings to you.
- Be helpful, not meddlesome. Offer to watch the kids for a weekend, or take your child out for a relaxing dinner. He or she has enough stress lately without a parent compounding it.
- Try to keep a healthy relationship with your child's soon-to-be ex-spouse. Recriminations and bitterness do not help any situation get better. If there are grandchildren in the picture, it's especially wise to always put their feelings first. Don't "trash" the name of one of their parents, and try not to hold grudges.
- Your child may need a little financial assistance after the break-up. If you can help out without getting resentful about it, be prepared to do so.
- Reach out to your grandchildren. Although there is no established legal right of grandparents regarding visits with grandchildren, try to maintain your relationship with them, even if they've moved far away after the divorce. Their custodial parent may remarry and bring a new spouse and possibly siblings into the picture; as grandparents you can be a secure and long-term presence in their lives.
- Don't neglect your other children or your own spouse and your own life when one of your kids is divorcing. Don't get consumed by their drama. After the divorce, move on with your life.
Get a Lawyer
It's a thorny and emotional issue, for sure. If your marriage has produced frozen embryos and you are now considering a divorce, it's a good idea to consult an experienced divorce attorney in your area, to protect and advance your rights.
>>back to FAQ main menu