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How can I recover from my divorce as quickly and painlessly as possible?
Divorce is rarely easy. Usually, it is an extremely painful experience. It is not uncommon for a divorcee to experience low self-esteem and depression once the proceedings are underway, and even well after they have ended.
Here are some tips to help you cope with your divorce emotionally:
- Accept your feelings: Allow yourself to feel the way you feel. Let your feelings out and deal with them rather than suppressing them. Feel free to talk about them, write about them, cry about them, and even scream about them (but preferably not in the presence of your children).
- Get outside help: Reach out to your counselor, minister, friends, family, or anyone you feel will listen and empathize. If you don’t have a counselor, consider getting one.
- Acknowledge that it will take time to recover: Chances are you won’t feel fine about the whole situation within a few days. Don’t let anyone rush you through the process – it will take as long as it takes. Don’t feel guilty about mourning your loss.
- Treat yourself to relaxation and entertainment: Take walks. Treat yourself to massages. Go to movies, eat out, read a novel, go to the gym, do some window-shopping. Start doing some of the things you wanted to do but didn’t while you were married. Anything that will get your mind off things or allow you to feel pampered for an hour will help you keep your sanity.
- Engage in behavior your normally wouldn’t when you are stressed: For example, if you know that you tend to withdraw and speak less when you are stressed, instead, put yourself out there and start more conversations. It will take time to get comfortable doing things differently, but be persistent. It will help you stay out of depression.
- Focus on the positive: Think of your divorce as a new beginning to a happier you. You are now out of a relationship that wasn’t working out. Yes your new life will be different, but it won’t be all bad. It may even be much better.
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