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As a bystander, how can I help a child of divorce?

It’s easy to be overcome with a feeling of helplessness when you watch your friend’s family goes through a divorce and it’s even more heartbreaking to watch their children cope with it. There are ways you can help those children, however.

Divorce is common, which means there are a lot of children going through very difficult times. Here are some ways you can help make a difference for a child going through a divorce:

1)    Show attention and affection. During divorce proceedings, families are stressed, and children may not get the affection and attention they need. Don’t force your affection on the child, but be ready with kind words or an embrace when you think the child might need it.

2)    Don’t speak negatively about either parent. A child will feel less inclined to air his or her thoughts about a divorce with you if you have inserted your own feelings – especially negative ones. Children need a neutral forum for discussion.

3)    Stay neutral and don’t get involved. Resist whatever urge you may have to take sides. Do not intervene unless you are legally obligated to.

4)    Listen. Make yourself available to listen to the child when he or she feels comfortable enough to talk to you. You don’t necessarily have to offer advice, but you can help the child simply by lending an ear.

5)    Keep your rules and expectations in place. If you soften or change your expectations of a child after a divorce begins, you will make it that much easier for him or her to spiral into poor behavior. Do what you can to make sure the child does the best he can.

6)    Suggest a support group to the parents. If you are comfortable enough with the child’s parents, you may wish to suggest to them that they take the child to a support group for children of divorce. There are also many support groups for divorcing spouses, and anything that makes divorce easier for the parents will probably make it easier for the kids.

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If you are considering a divorce or would like assistance with any family law issues, please contact us today for a free consultation with an experienced and aggressive family law attorney who will vigorously defend your best interests.

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