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If you're the parent of a teenager and you are considering getting a divorce, or if you are already in the process of being divorced, it's good to keep in mind a few of the special risks that teenagers are exposed to when their parents split up. Children of any age can be adversely affected by the breakdown of their parents' marriage, but there are concerns that are unique to teenagers.
Teens are old enough to understand the relationship problems that adults experience. They may take sides or try to mediate or mend their parents' marriage. This is not an appropriate role for children in a troubled marriage. Family counseling by a neutral professional would be a better alternative.
Teenagers are also often aware of the financial ramifications of a divorce. As parents, it's best to keep all the details of your finances (and emotional turmoil) to yourselves, rather than letting your teen get embroiled in your relationship.
Custody
A teenager may have very strong feelings about a custody arrangement ─ for instance, which parent he or she wants to live with. A teen may also want to withdraw from one parent or from both parents, in light of the trauma they may be experiencing.
If, to your dismay, your teen wants to live with your ex-spouse, try to be understanding. If letting your teenager live with the ex-spouse is safe, consider whether it may be the best option.
School
A teen's schoolwork may suffer as his or her parents go through a divorce. It's wise to keep a close eye on your teen's grades and extracurricular school activities as your separation progresses.
Sexuality
Teenagers are hyper-aware of sexual issues ─ both yours and theirs. Be attuned to their questions and their observations of your behavior. Watch for any "acting out" by a teen who is troubled by his or her parents' breakup.
Isolation, Depression
Children (and teenagers are still children, even if they deny it) may want to isolate themselves during or after their parents' divorce, seeing little of friends and withdrawing from school activities. Depression is also a common occurrence among teens of troubled marriages. Watch for the signs of depression and isolation in your teens, and stay involved in their lives.
Keep in mind that teenagers often try to act older and stronger than their age, and remember that they need your support at this difficult time.
Having a knowledgeable divorce lawyer on your side throughout this process is very helpful. Contact a divorce lawyer near you today.