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More and more couples seeking divorce are finding the relatively new process of collaborative divorce an appealing option.
Divorce attorney Pauline Tesler said that, “…attorneys have begun to collaborate with psychologists and financial advisors to provide a better approach to this rite of passage.” The rite of passage she speaks of is divorce, the rate of which has remained steady at about 50 percent for years now.
Most divorcing couples don’t want a drawn out battle that is painful for the whole family. “Divorcing couples are increasingly turning to collaborative divorce lawyers for help because they want to get through this period with their lives intact. More than 80,000 individuals have chosen the collaborative model in the last few years,” said Tesler.
Tesler herself has helped nearly 200 people in her area through the process. She estimates that there are now at least 7,000 collaborative divorce practitioners in North America.
How Collaborative Divorce Works
· Each spouse gets legal counsel, and they both sign an agreement to not take the case to court.
· Each spouse gets a sort of “divorce coach.” Peggy Thompson, who co-wrote a book on collaborative divorce with Tesler, said, “A family therapist coaches you to articulate your key issues, so you deal with them constructively.”
· Each child meets with a child development specialist. The specialist listens to the children’s concerns and encourages the family to address them.
· A neutral financial consultant is brought in. The consultant analyzes the family’s resources, gathers data, and helps the couple come up with solutions. Couples generally garner a much deeper understanding of their financial situation than they ever had before.
The Price?
“In my part of California a traditional divorce for a middle class client with a house and two children can run from $30,000 to well over $100,000. And that’s only for one partner. A collaborative process will probably cost a third of that or less,” Tesler said.
Collaborative divorces also typically only last a year to 18 months, while traditional divorces often take up to five years to finalize.
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