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The upshot of divorce to children

Nearly breaking up parents are usually very worried about the welfare of their children during this vexatious time. Some parents may decide to stay even when they are already having an unhappy marriage in order for them to protect their offspring from occurrence of trauma. Researchers have found that only a small percentage of children experience serious problems brought by the trauma that the divorce has caused.

Divorce, of course, affects children in the short run but the kids recover swiftly after the initial blow. It is normal for children to have negative effects from divorce, such as anger, anxiety, shock and dismay but this is only a short-term effect. These diminish or vanish along the way. Only a minority of kids suffer longer. Boys and girls suffer equally; they just differ in how they are suffering. Children may develop depression or conduct disorders due to the unwanted happening of their parents. Boys act out what they have been feeling towards the situation than girls; they act out their anger, frustration and pain from being hurt of the news. Boys usually get more trouble in their school. However, girls then, tend to internalize what they have been feeling towards it. Their bright days turn to blue ones, develop headaches or have changes in their sleeping and eating pattern.

Financially speaking, it will be a lot of adjustments. A drop in parent’s financial status affects children over in time in terms of budgeting for food, children’s extracurricular activities, clothing, school stuffs and others. A home-stay parent also has a big adjustment because he/she will be forced to work to provide for his/her kids and then has a little time for the children unlike before.

On the other hand, it’s not just all about the negative effects for children to have but also the favorable ones. A child’s involvement in this situation allows him/her for a realistic, better and balanced future relationships. A research doesn’t support the view of problems arising when children who came from a divorced parents during adulthood. Instead, it demonstrates that most children of divorced parents are well-adjusted adults. These children learn how to deal with relationship by their relationship with their parents. If they already feel that they are secured by their parents, even when both are already living apart, chances are they will become very adaptive to various things such as time-sharing schedules.

The impact of a mother or a father’s loss is not likely to subside immediately. It takes a lot of time for it to heal, maybe, on its own. It may not also diminish when introduced to a new stepparent. They will think that ‘No one can ever replace Mom or Dad’ when this situation happens. But, when children are going to be informed and well taught, there will be roles defined, realistic goals are set, they will see to it to live happily with a new family. Most children bounce back and get through any back-breaking situation even when they are already scarred.

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